Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
