He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
