He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
