dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
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i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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