fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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