I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
