i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
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He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
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Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize