You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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