I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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