Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
