that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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