That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
