do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
worst night to have a conscience
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
