do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize