You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
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