i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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