Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I think I am morally bankrupt
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
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