He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
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i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
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Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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