Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i've created a new STD.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
