Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
