Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
