PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
