would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Randomize
