So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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