Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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