I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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