She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
