Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I understand Curling. That high.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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