hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
