Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
