are you so shy because you have an std?
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Randomize
