That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You smell like a Billy Joel song
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
