Don't make out with my wife yet
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I enjoy the company of your penis
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