I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
