What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
