The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
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