I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
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Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
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He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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