I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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