Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
