So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Randomize
