addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
