found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
