I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize