Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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