If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
