gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Randomize
