i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
We are two peas in an std pod
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
