My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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