Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
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