Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Randomize
