I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Im part way to drunk.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Randomize
