her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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