Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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