Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
